Inside and outside of a class

In the classroom. A teacher with a little problem with his eyes (squint) and the kids with every sorts of problems with their eyes (to see things that do not exist)


Professor- There are two ways to look at a thing.
Once in a blue moon Student- (lets out a laugh) There certainly is.
Professor- for example it is cold today.
Why am I a student? Student- that is news, I though my teeth were clattering because of the arid classrooms
Professor- I am wearing a vest below my shirt
Why am I a student? Student- So?
Professor- So, you can look at it from two different perspectives
Geeky Student- why would we do that anyway?
Professor- One is the fact that my body from the inside is responding to the cold outside.
Sincere Student- Hmm so what happens on the inside shows on the outside

Professor- now the second way of looking at is what lies below the vest
Geek Student - West? Bay of Bengal
Cool Student- shut up dumbo
Curious Student- what is he upto
Intellectual Student- eeeew.. grose
Ohh I am so cool! Student- like excuse me?
Once in a bluemoon Student- now you are talking

Professor (looks confused at the weird faces but continues)-- so below the vest is the feeling, the heart that makes it do things that it does. Or is the vest an expression of my being. A point I am trying to make

Why am I a student? student- oohhhk.. so what else does your heart make you do?

Sincere Student- deliver senseless lectures with bizarre examples.
Professor- what are you whispering?

Once in a bluemoon Student- sir, just that what are you wearing the vest for, because it is cold or does your heart says that it is time?

Professor- what rubbish is this, you are in MA? Stop making your own questions.
Stupid Students- giggle.
Professor- getting back to my earlier point...
XYZ Student- ....the vest
Professor- (sits up and stares)
Why am I a student? Student- Sir, If looking at the thing makes me feel that the thing is just done to please others or to hide certain parts and not really feels it . Is it possible to feel this way? Is it then the false expression of your being?

Professor- Hmm yes it is quite possible.

Entire class laughs... as the teacher walks out of the class.
Of course the meaning was clear just replace things with 'vest'.

Sir, If looking at a vest makes me feel that the vest is just done/worn to please others or to hide certain parts and not really feels it . Is it possible to feel this way? Is it then the false expression of the being?
What do you think? :)

Moral of the story- All teachers are smart. All students are stupid :)

Happy Children's day 14th November

It felt dirty ‘inside’

I used to love my

Muddy blue pants

But you always

Liked them clean

You know what

It did not change

A thing in me

Because,

It felt dirty ‘inside’…

"Clean because,

they should shine"

You said.

And I should not

Look unclean

But, clean for me was -

The ice cream stain

The mud, the sand

The greasy paint

Do you remember?

The Little girl at the

End of the street.

With a dirty face,

A dirty shirt and her

Dirty little hands

She smiled at me

But, I could not smile

Because, it felt dirty inside

Is she nice,

I had asked you then.

And your smile

Was in disguise.

What was it,

That you hid from me?

It felt dirty inside…

The girl next day,

Did touch me though

And, I felt she was just me.

Mum, I know

it was not the dirt

But 'dearth'

which

made her unclean.

R.S.

It is time to celebrate childhood. To give them what is rightfully theirs a 'childhood' .

Gift a childhood today and if you do that, here you can put this little kid's smiling face on your blog. Just to remind yourself and others of what good you did for the day and days to come.

lets make a child smile :)

Happy Children's day

It is that time of the year

Image: From the Internet

It is that time of the year…

When the vision dims
As the twilight fogs…

And the Blue eyed beauty
Sighs at the misty moon

As she walks down
The Begrimed path

Her frail white hand
Tries to hold
The mist and the sand

She can hold them,
She thinks, she can

The sheen of her whiskers fade
Whiter than the skin

Last winter or last to last winter
Or was it not even cold
When she had sat down the lamp post
And felt it coming…

Just like the mist and the sand
She thought she can
She had tried too hard
to hold…

Welled up a tear
In the blue of her eyes
It is that time of the year

When things were there
But, did not appear
The eyes failed
As the blurry truth took over them

Her tongue felt cold
As she tasted snow
Overpowered by the numbness

She lay there
‘Frozen’
It was that time of the year….

"I care playing for India"

"Tendu Ten don't"

India vs. Australia... the entire series has been so disappointing.. As in there were matches that we almost won.. too close yet too far...

Sachin is the most awesome outstanding player of the century.. what a match.. 175 runs .. Brilliant.

But the presentation ceremony said it all. Disappointment written all over his face. He wanted to win. And he could not have done more. But still, ending up on the losing side...
I am utterly disappointed. And that Dhoni is a git of a man. Can't he appreciate the man for the ehsaan.. for the spirit with which he played. Even Ponting said that Sachin delivered an outstanding knock. But, the captain of Indian Team was audacious enough to not appreciate his own team member. that too the best one.

Chor saala dhoni. I hate him huh.. khud se toh hota nahin jo kerte hein unki taarif nahin ker sakta.. jhootha ..

Hats off

The Wedding Weekend

It was one busy week for me. I had exams, my cousin's-childhood buddy-wedding and a tiring goodbye to the guests. So, all in all it was an eventful and emotionally exhaustive week.

Here we are discussing, what makes a wedding interesting? –
a. Bride or Groom
b. New clothes and jwelery
c. Eye Candy- EC

Option C is the most awaited and clandestinely wished ingredient of a wedding. As in, no body says it blatantly, but everybody wishes for one or two ECs to be around. So, that you have something to ‘admire’, as one of my friends put it, to talk about. You can get bored of discussing bride and the groom. So you go flaunt your goodlooks or admire someone elses. Same difference. :)

So this is exactly what we did. We had only one EC sadly. “The girl gang” (The GG) comprises of newly wedded and young teenage girls who are ready for some harmless admiring activity.

The rules are set from the onset. You just have some fun. To define fun - jokes at the EC’s expense, jokes that are friendly and subtle, to make it obvious at times that he/she is ‘EC’. Lastly, the fun depends a lot upon circumstantial humour and the element of surprise.

So, here we begin. Our EC was obviously a guy. And The GG devoid of all the discussing, gossiping, cribbing, beautifying and self admiring classes decided to hunt for a scapegoat- EC.

So, it all began at the legendary dining table where EC was the host and the GG sat together for the fiesta all at his expense ofcourse.

Ok we will call participants of GG as (GG1, GG2, GG3 and so on)

GG1- I am hungry, so hungry that I can eat the table.

EC- Oh the pleasure is all mine, but please leave the table.

GG2- giggles (Why?)

EC- smirks (he he he macchli jaal mein fans gayi. The prey is ready)

GG1- Coughs violently

EC- this is dog cough

GG2- giggles

GG1- huh (Bitch)

The feast begins and the girls keep giggling God, it was too much obvious even from the EC standard rule book. Anyway now the EC was serving chapattis and then water.

GG4- I want a chapatti

GG5-(mumbles) eat less he will think you eat a lot

Extras- chapatti ma’am

GG2- giggles… heheh .. giggles again

GG4- what the hell I never asked for chapatti (sees EC fetching water) I said Pani (Water). Huh.

EC- Oh I did not hear sorry.

The GGs laugh and continue with some harmless jokes till the time the grown ups turn up and the dinner is rounded up.

The wedding day-
The GGs clad in wedding dresses and makeup make overs look awesomely pretty. The EC gives his best. At night when everyone is tired to death and having a quiet time with the bride:

Scene- the Bride’s room, everyone waiting for the next wedding ceremony called feras. The GG’s tired to death … almost dosing off to glory at 3 am. A knock on the door and we see EC at our disposal.

GG1- Sits upright
GG2- Giggles in slumber
GG3- In an attempt to reach the door almost runs over the bride
GG4- Opens the door
GG5- Clears her throat

Bride- Sighs lucky bitches! Come on my tantrums weren’t so boring

EC- Are you ready

The GG- err yes (what do you think took us so long. Yes, we are)

EC- so can I use the loo

GG5- This is what you wanted to ask?

GG1- duh?

GG2- stops giggling (finally)

Bride- Like what should WE be ready for if YOU have to pee. (My lehenga weighs 100 kgs and he is standing there as if.. phew..) go now use the damn loo.

GG3- (mischievous eyes) what if some grown up enters our room now and finds a guy in the loo with all of us here.

Bride- My wedding will be called off shut up guys.

GG1- stop acting like a bride, act like a girl. He is the EC man.. like what are thinking.

GG5- haha if someone enters just now we will tell him -ohhh EC Please don’t come out

The GG- laugh out loud at all the ridiculous tales going on in their naughty heads.

Bride- What if we lock him from the outside.

GG1- Brilliant idea

GG3- Now you are talking

GG5- Why not hold it from the outside, he will never be able to come out.

Bride goes and holds the door knob from the outside. While The GGs laugh and crack jokes .. some of them fall off the bed while the rest roll on the floor.

GG6- just imagine if the door knob breaks and he is seriously stuck in the room.

The bride cracks up in a laughter and with a jerk the knob comes in her hand. Everyone in The GG gang falls silent for a second. They all look at each other’s face and then towards GG6.

GG6- (in her defence) Like I did not do anything. It is divine intervention.

Bride- Now What

GG1- EC tum ghabrana nahin hum tumhare saath hein

GG2- starts giggling again

Now the ideas of getting him out go even crazier, lets lock the room and disappear.

Bride- What if I was there in his place. God my wedding would have never taken place. Everything happens for the good.

GG2- uff not again. OK let me try. She puts the knob in the now created vacant space and tinkers with it.

This time a few pieces of iron and moulded metal fall down. The situation worsens.

Finally after ten minutes every one falls silent and now the panick stricken faces realise they might be in a big soup. So one of them decides to call a grown up to rescue. Just then one of the grown up hears the cries and enters.

Grown up- how can this happen let me try.

GG5- are you sure you can handle.

Grown up- Grown ups are smart, they can do everything . taktak tak tak taka tak.. thadack.

Another loud crack and then the lock breaks into two pieces. The GGs stare at the grown up and laughs, like he did not find any other loo or what.

Just then GG5 asks for the lady weapon- a hair pin. And tinkers with the knob

Click. And open. The EC stares in amazement and relief.

EC- thanks GG5 for saving my life from the washroom.

GG5- the pleasure was all mine.

The GG gang – how was the experience?

EC- life threatening

EC left the room and everybody laughs till their stomachs ached. Later

EC- So, if it would not have been you I would have been locked up for god knows how many years.

GG5- oh not a problem. I was just trying to help

EC- Ohh How modest of you

GG5- (sala) yeah right (Dude it was just a wash room.)

EC- So you are here with?

GG5- My husband and my 5 year old daughter

EC- (puts himself together) Ohh you do not seem that old. Aapki twacha se aapki umr ka pata hi nahin chalta.

I WAS NOT SCARED

OK before we begin, it is not that I am a darpok (sissy in angrezi I think), it is just that I do get scared very easily.

Yes, I told you am not a darpok now stop staring me like this. It scares me. I mean I get scared by that look of yours, the eyebrows up and the eyes popping out. Come on don’t lie even you are scared of those looks. Remember mum’s glances when you do something wrong.
Aah see caught you darpok… :D (devil’s grin)

Anyhow this is not about you. It’s always about you is it.? huh.. I was talking about I, me, myself.

So, In the summer of 2008, my cousin came to stay with us. Ok it was not exactly summer but then summer sounds so fiction-ish.. continuing

A random fact but still relevant that I am directionally dyslexic. If you send me to the simplest of places I will manage to some how complicate the ways. On the top of it I have the knack of confusing you as well. So never ever ever ever make a mistake of

a. asking me the way to a certain place (including my home, school, office, college and your home school or office)

b. Never ask me for directions

Some other day on my dyslexia.

So, as the cousin was here we were to take her around and show ‘Delhi’. I have been here from past 12-13 years and have never ‘seen’ the place. Loser, I know. Anyway so, this cousin was also not very enthusiastic on going and checking out old monuments and buildings of Mogul empire. She said she wanted to have fun. As we say ‘masti karenege’

So our brother advised us to break the cliché and go to this new place in the near by market. He said it was like Appu ghar’s Bhoot Bangla.

Now for all those who are not familiar I will elucidate. Appu ghar was the most wanted amusement park of Delhi. But sealing and all issues needed it’s closure. It does not exist anymore (bahhooo hoooo.. aai maaji )

So there in that amusing world of swings and interesting rides was this fun ride called bhoot bangla or haunted bunglow. It was supposed to be a train sort of a thing which would taking you in a tunnel where there will be surround sound “eeeheeee he he ehe he (chudail hasin/ female ghost laughter) the devil laughter, the ghost aura and the ghastly sights of mannequins and puppets on the lines of ghosts. As a kid I used to get real real scared of that place. It was dark and people used to come out shrieking.

When I grew up, as in I did, Yes I did like, forget it. Continuing, I grew up and I realised arrey it is so funny. You know like when you are immature you like movies like kuch kuch hota hai and main ne pyar kiya. When you grow up you know how funny those movies are. Like Karan Johar said“tum nahin samjhoge bacche kuch kuch hota hai”

Digressing again..

Now, we went to this new place called “Scary Fort” in kamla nagar. I was accompanied by my elder sister, cousin and my 3 year old niece Kuhu. Now we thought that the place will be some sidey shit. So, let’s go and have fun.

When we were to enter, the ticket guy said we can’t take Kuhu as she is too young for it. So we left her there with the guard. As we entered it was ofcourse dark, like I know I am not scared of the dark, like not always, Occasionally yes. Everyone is.

Right when we entered there came a hand from the dark and a very loud husky voice that said “kahan jaa rehi ho mar jaogi” (where are you going? you will die) lord I had a stroke right there. I said mujhe nahin jana (I do not want to go).. and I screamed.. I was the loudest. I said I am going to be with kuhu but nobody listened. My concerns for the 3 year old were genuine. How could we leave her in the middle of nowhere. I wasn't scared just ..

That was just the trailer. As we entered uff! it still creeps me out.

There were people chained to chair and they get up and scare you to death as you go near them. I just wanted to see the light to come. I thought it will never come. I shut my eyes and concentrated on screaming my heart out. That spared me quite a deal. While we were about to end the ordeal my cousin said very coolly arrey I left my hanky there. We had managed to see the light at the end of the tunnel by then. My throat was out of screams and I was furious at that cousin of mine. Like, here we were fighting for life and death and all she could think of was a hanky.

I came out and was shaking for the next half an hour. Kuhu heard us shout all this while so she thought it was the place we mentioned every now and then. Whenever she was not behaving properly we used to tell her that she will get punished. The scary fort became the hub of fictional fear for her.

Since then whenever Kuhu or even I am part of any mischievous doing we are threatened to be sent to the scary fort. And trust me not that we are really afraid or something but come on that place is scary.

I regret going to that god forsaken land on that ill fated summer day. God not that I was scared but as in dar sabko lagta hai, gala sabka sukhta hai..

This is so me :)

It is not usually that I would post something like this. But I sincerely feel this is soo me.. This is all true.. And I kind of liked it. So here it is ..aahan..